As I stood in church this past Sunday singing the words to the song, Good, Good Father, I looked down at Emmy and couldn't help but think about just how good we have it. It was Mother's Day, and with it being my first as a mother myself, it was special for that reason alone. It also brought about a lot of feelings about just how hard that day is and can be for some people. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I had been focusing far too much on the negative and the things I wish I could change, as opposed to being thankful for all the truly good things in my life.
Instead of being so sad and bitter about my journey into motherhood looking different than I always imagined, I choose to be thankful that I got pregnant easily and carried a baby to term and get to hold and love on that baby every day.
Instead of being sad that so many of our days are consumed with doctor's appointments and therapy, I choose to be grateful that the timing of E's birth and my job allow me to have this time off to take her to these places and devote all of my attention to this right now, so that in a few months when I do go back to work, things will be set in place and settled down.
Instead of being frustrated that my daughter will face challenges both physically and academically one day, I choose to be grateful that before I was even her momma, I chose a career in education that will give me the knowledge and ability to advocate and support her in a very real way.
Instead of being upset that we had to go through a grieving process when most couples are simply full of joy and celebrating their pregnancy and new life, I choose to be so thankful and hopeful because of the wonderful people we have met, that otherwise I would never have known. Also, the countless people that have prayed for Emersyn from the day they knew I was expecting, and even more so in recent months.
Instead of whining about the fact that we had such a good report on Emmy's heart prenatally, only to find out after birth that there was a problem, I choose to be glad that we have a new Children's hospital only minutes from our house that can treat her and help lift some of the burden of travel we would have had.
Instead of dwelling on the fact that my girl is going to be slightly different than her peers, I will rejoice in the assurance that she will never go a day without knowing she is loved. She was born into a family that has and will continue to welcome her with open arms. I only wish every other child could know the love that Emmy has known in her short 6 weeks of life.
This little girl's life is truly shaping me into the person I want to be.
I am also so thankful for a God that loves me despite my complaints, poor attitude, and worries.
"You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am"
Update:
Another thing I was thinking about as the lyrics to that song filled the sanctuary, were all of the upcoming appointments we had this week and next. I prayed that God would grant us good news, but that even if that is not what we received, my heart would still say He is good.
Monday: Emmy had a weight check and was up to 8 lbs 6 oz. That may not seem like much to others, but for us that was a huge celebration!
Tuesday: Emmy had a hip ultrasound to check for hip dysplasia. There were no other concerns for this other than the fact that she was breech from about 24 weeks on, and this is a standard procedure to rule out any problems. Her ultrasound came back completely normal! Even if they had found that her hips were dislocated, it would not have been the worst news, and we would have done what we had to do, but it was such a relief to not add another thing to our plate at the moment.
Thursday: First day of Physical Therapy. Other than pretending like she was asleep for the first 20 min to avoid doing any work... I'll let you all guess who she gets that from ;), she did great. Her therapist mentioned that shes never seen a baby that young make it all the way through the session without fussing. She said Emmy's muscle strength is already improving and she can already tell how great she is going to do!
Friday: Weight check: Emmy is up to 8 lbs. 9 oz.!! That is HUGE news. That means she gained 5 ounces since last week, which is the most she has ever gained in a weeks time. Emmy also had her third echocardiogram since birth. Perhaps the biggest news of all and such an answer to prayer: the hole in her heart is CLOSING on its own!! I can't even describe what relief I feel today. She will go for her next cardio appointment in 7 weeks and we are believing there will be even more progress then. (PSA: I made it to the car before I started crying this time. Ha! Happy tears, of course)
And some of Mom and Dad's happy news is that Emmy has slept for 7 hours straight almost every night this week! Can I get a hallelujah for that!! Lol
Upcoming:
Next week Emmy has a week of therapy and her first eye appointment. We would love prayers that those things go well.
Recent pictures:
Thank you for loving us and praying for us.
-Morgan
Instead of being so sad and bitter about my journey into motherhood looking different than I always imagined, I choose to be thankful that I got pregnant easily and carried a baby to term and get to hold and love on that baby every day.
Instead of being sad that so many of our days are consumed with doctor's appointments and therapy, I choose to be grateful that the timing of E's birth and my job allow me to have this time off to take her to these places and devote all of my attention to this right now, so that in a few months when I do go back to work, things will be set in place and settled down.
Instead of being frustrated that my daughter will face challenges both physically and academically one day, I choose to be grateful that before I was even her momma, I chose a career in education that will give me the knowledge and ability to advocate and support her in a very real way.
Instead of being upset that we had to go through a grieving process when most couples are simply full of joy and celebrating their pregnancy and new life, I choose to be so thankful and hopeful because of the wonderful people we have met, that otherwise I would never have known. Also, the countless people that have prayed for Emersyn from the day they knew I was expecting, and even more so in recent months.
Instead of whining about the fact that we had such a good report on Emmy's heart prenatally, only to find out after birth that there was a problem, I choose to be glad that we have a new Children's hospital only minutes from our house that can treat her and help lift some of the burden of travel we would have had.
Instead of dwelling on the fact that my girl is going to be slightly different than her peers, I will rejoice in the assurance that she will never go a day without knowing she is loved. She was born into a family that has and will continue to welcome her with open arms. I only wish every other child could know the love that Emmy has known in her short 6 weeks of life.
This little girl's life is truly shaping me into the person I want to be.
I am also so thankful for a God that loves me despite my complaints, poor attitude, and worries.
"You're a Good, Good Father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am, It's who I am, It's who I am"
Update:
Another thing I was thinking about as the lyrics to that song filled the sanctuary, were all of the upcoming appointments we had this week and next. I prayed that God would grant us good news, but that even if that is not what we received, my heart would still say He is good.
Monday: Emmy had a weight check and was up to 8 lbs 6 oz. That may not seem like much to others, but for us that was a huge celebration!
Tuesday: Emmy had a hip ultrasound to check for hip dysplasia. There were no other concerns for this other than the fact that she was breech from about 24 weeks on, and this is a standard procedure to rule out any problems. Her ultrasound came back completely normal! Even if they had found that her hips were dislocated, it would not have been the worst news, and we would have done what we had to do, but it was such a relief to not add another thing to our plate at the moment.
Thursday: First day of Physical Therapy. Other than pretending like she was asleep for the first 20 min to avoid doing any work... I'll let you all guess who she gets that from ;), she did great. Her therapist mentioned that shes never seen a baby that young make it all the way through the session without fussing. She said Emmy's muscle strength is already improving and she can already tell how great she is going to do!
Friday: Weight check: Emmy is up to 8 lbs. 9 oz.!! That is HUGE news. That means she gained 5 ounces since last week, which is the most she has ever gained in a weeks time. Emmy also had her third echocardiogram since birth. Perhaps the biggest news of all and such an answer to prayer: the hole in her heart is CLOSING on its own!! I can't even describe what relief I feel today. She will go for her next cardio appointment in 7 weeks and we are believing there will be even more progress then. (PSA: I made it to the car before I started crying this time. Ha! Happy tears, of course)
And some of Mom and Dad's happy news is that Emmy has slept for 7 hours straight almost every night this week! Can I get a hallelujah for that!! Lol
Upcoming:
Next week Emmy has a week of therapy and her first eye appointment. We would love prayers that those things go well.
Recent pictures:
That tummy time work!
We enjoy bath time much more than we used to! ;)
First Mother's Day
Wearing one of Mom's old outfits <3
We like big bows and we cannot lie
"Oh, Mom. Taking pictures is exhausting."
Got that sassy face down already...
Don't let her face fool you. We are so happy about the warmer weather and wearing our pretty summer clothes!
Thank you for loving us and praying for us.
-Morgan
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