I am completely unaware how anyone makes it through life without Jesus and some amazing family and friends. I have always known I had some good people surrounding me, but wow, did they outdo themselves during this time in our lives! I don't even know where to start with telling you all the incredible things people did for us, but I will do my best.
For starters, I got the initial phone call about our blood work on a Wednesday. At 8:21 a.m. to be exact. I called my mom shortly after, and by 2:00 that afternoon she was at my house. I mean really, she took her own vacation days, drove 3 ½ hours and stayed with me for 4 of the hardest days of my life. She cooked my dinner when I didn’t even want to get off the couch. She sat in bed with me until I fell asleep when Wes had to work night shift and I couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She researched with me. She prayed for me. She cried with me. She encouraged me. I remember telling her one night, “You are the kind of person that could handle having a child with special needs. You are patient,kind, and selfless. Not me, I’m not good enough to do this. Why me?” In those 4 days my mom made me feel stronger than I had ever been. I know everyone says this, but in all seriousness, if I get even an ounce of all the good things my mother is made of, I know I will be just fine. Thank you, Jesus for the most incredible example of a Christian wife and mom. Emmy doesn’t know how lucky she is to have her for a Yaya! I also have to mention how supportive my dad was in this time. While he wasn’t there in person, I knew how much he cared and how worried he was about my heart with every phone call he made to us that week.
My in-laws were there to offer positive encouragement, prayers, and constantly checking on us to see if we were both okay. I can’t explain the feeling of just knowing you have people around you that genuinely care about your well being and want to take any hurt away from you. Since Wes is so much stronger than me during situations like this, I worried about his heart and emotions. It was more than comforting to know he had people to talk to and check in with him as well. The next week when we went for our first ultrasound and amnio, my mother-in-law took a couple hours of her own morning to accompany us to the doctor’s office and sit in a dark, boring waiting room, just to support us and give us an extra shoulder to lean on. Emmy has some pretty amazing people to look up to.
I was at work when I first received this news, so it was inevitable that some people would have to know (and I of course wanted them to know, all in the right time). When things in your personal life get a little messy or don’t go as “planned,” sometimes the everyday things you do in your work life become a humongous mountain to climb. Your mind is elsewhere and the smallest of tasks seem much harder. Every person that knew early on what was happening, had the most perfect reaction to the jumble of words coming out of my mouth. There was no “I’m sorry” or “Oh wow, are you serious?” There was just a genuine care for my well-being and an overall feeling of “Okay. It’s alright. You’re having a baby!” I will honestly never be able to thank them enough for the prayers said, texts sent, hugs given, or just popping in my room to ask if I was okay. They lent an ear when I needed to talk, and gave me space when it was evident I needed it. My teammates, administrators, and other co-workers made work bearable when I felt like the rest of my life wasn’t. I wish you could all know them and see what incredibly kind people I spend the majority of my weekdays with. They rock, and I know Emmy will feel the same way about them.
Wes and I both had so many friends that called, texted, came over and talked, and prayed for our situation. Again, they all had the most perfect reaction. No one acted like our life was over. No one treated us any different. They all told us how excited they were to meet our girl, and asked how they could pray more specifically. Some that have walked this road, or one similar before, offered every bit of advice and information they could. It wasn’t long before I knew we were going to be just fine. Surround yourself with a crew like this. I just can’t imagine anything else.
My sweet sister was there to check on me every step of the way and make sure I was doing okay. She validated every feeling I had, made sure I knew I was loved and this baby was loved, and that she was being born into the perfect family for her. Encouraging words and always just at the right time.
I had to save the best for last. My sweet husband. People that just know the “surface level” Wes are really missing out. This guy has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know, he just doesn’t want everyone to know that ;) It’s a really amazing and hard thing to explain how you feel talking to your best friend and life partner about something like this. Everyone else was there for us and we loved that, but at the end of the day, we were the only two going through the exact same thing. This was our baby, not theirs, and this was our life that would be affected the most. Wes had the most positive attitude from the very beginning. I was literally bawling when I called him that day to tell him the news. When I left work, I drove straight to his work, he came outside and sat in my car and I just collapsed on him and cried even more. He stroked by back and assured me everything would be just fine. All I could tell him was “I’m sorry.” I am very aware that Down syndrome is a completely random occurrence and there is nothing either parent can do to cause it or prevent it, but I still felt like I was letting people down. I felt like I wasn’t giving him the child I was supposed to give him. Lucky for me, he didn’t let me believe that lie for long. He was right beside me through all of those next doctor’s appointments and asked questions right along with me. He was patient with me when I shared the same fears over and over. He kept me focused on the present when my mind wanted to race with thoughts of the future, which only bred more fear. He brought me lunch at school the next day and ate with me just because I was having a hard time and wanted to see him. He told me over and over how much he loved me and this baby. I know he had to be holding some really deep fears in his own heart, but he made sure my heart was okay first…
Wes and I cried out to God so often throughout this trial. It's kind of embarrassing that it takes a little bit of a “valley” to bring us to our knees sometimes. Jesus was the ultimate comforter and I can guarantee you neither of us would be in the place we are right now without His peace. Like I’ve said before, we take comfort in the fact that God knew Emmy was ours before either of us were even born! He knew the road we would walk and He goes before us. I don’t really like the phrase “God gives special children to extra special parents.” I know it is meant to be comforting, but I don’t consider us the slightest bit better or more adequate for this job than anyone else. We are simply living the life God planned for us, and this is what ours looks like. Maybe this is how we will fulfill our purpose in life. We don’t know. We sure didn’t think this is how it would go, but no matter how our lives happen, we know the One who is with us along the journey.
I’ll end by saying this: we have a lot to learn about our new normal. We are in no way experts. What we do know, is we want Emmy’s life to be as normal as possible. I love talking to people about her story. It is nothing I am ashamed of or embarrassed about, so if you have questions, please ask! We knew so little about Down syndrome when this all started and that is why there was so much fear in our hearts. Now there is so much joy and I know there will be even more when she gets here. If we can educate someone else, we’ll be one step closer to inclusion and a better life for our sweet girl. Some of you may be wondering why we were so scared/sad/anxious etc. after learning of this diagnosis. Honestly, it seems a bit silly and dramatic to us now as well. But that fear stems from how our story has gone. When we received the initial results, that was 100% what we knew about our baby. I had barely felt any movements. We didn’t even know it was a girl. 100% of our knowledge was that our baby had DS. That’s a really hard thing to accept. Now I know she is a girl, I can call her by name, I can feel her movements daily, I can tell she is stubborn just like her daddy :). I can’t wait to see her face and let the rest of these fears melt away. We are so excited for the world to know Emmy for her, not for her diagnosis.
For starters, I got the initial phone call about our blood work on a Wednesday. At 8:21 a.m. to be exact. I called my mom shortly after, and by 2:00 that afternoon she was at my house. I mean really, she took her own vacation days, drove 3 ½ hours and stayed with me for 4 of the hardest days of my life. She cooked my dinner when I didn’t even want to get off the couch. She sat in bed with me until I fell asleep when Wes had to work night shift and I couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She researched with me. She prayed for me. She cried with me. She encouraged me. I remember telling her one night, “You are the kind of person that could handle having a child with special needs. You are patient,kind, and selfless. Not me, I’m not good enough to do this. Why me?” In those 4 days my mom made me feel stronger than I had ever been. I know everyone says this, but in all seriousness, if I get even an ounce of all the good things my mother is made of, I know I will be just fine. Thank you, Jesus for the most incredible example of a Christian wife and mom. Emmy doesn’t know how lucky she is to have her for a Yaya! I also have to mention how supportive my dad was in this time. While he wasn’t there in person, I knew how much he cared and how worried he was about my heart with every phone call he made to us that week.
My in-laws were there to offer positive encouragement, prayers, and constantly checking on us to see if we were both okay. I can’t explain the feeling of just knowing you have people around you that genuinely care about your well being and want to take any hurt away from you. Since Wes is so much stronger than me during situations like this, I worried about his heart and emotions. It was more than comforting to know he had people to talk to and check in with him as well. The next week when we went for our first ultrasound and amnio, my mother-in-law took a couple hours of her own morning to accompany us to the doctor’s office and sit in a dark, boring waiting room, just to support us and give us an extra shoulder to lean on. Emmy has some pretty amazing people to look up to.
I was at work when I first received this news, so it was inevitable that some people would have to know (and I of course wanted them to know, all in the right time). When things in your personal life get a little messy or don’t go as “planned,” sometimes the everyday things you do in your work life become a humongous mountain to climb. Your mind is elsewhere and the smallest of tasks seem much harder. Every person that knew early on what was happening, had the most perfect reaction to the jumble of words coming out of my mouth. There was no “I’m sorry” or “Oh wow, are you serious?” There was just a genuine care for my well-being and an overall feeling of “Okay. It’s alright. You’re having a baby!” I will honestly never be able to thank them enough for the prayers said, texts sent, hugs given, or just popping in my room to ask if I was okay. They lent an ear when I needed to talk, and gave me space when it was evident I needed it. My teammates, administrators, and other co-workers made work bearable when I felt like the rest of my life wasn’t. I wish you could all know them and see what incredibly kind people I spend the majority of my weekdays with. They rock, and I know Emmy will feel the same way about them.
Wes and I both had so many friends that called, texted, came over and talked, and prayed for our situation. Again, they all had the most perfect reaction. No one acted like our life was over. No one treated us any different. They all told us how excited they were to meet our girl, and asked how they could pray more specifically. Some that have walked this road, or one similar before, offered every bit of advice and information they could. It wasn’t long before I knew we were going to be just fine. Surround yourself with a crew like this. I just can’t imagine anything else.
My sweet sister was there to check on me every step of the way and make sure I was doing okay. She validated every feeling I had, made sure I knew I was loved and this baby was loved, and that she was being born into the perfect family for her. Encouraging words and always just at the right time.
I had to save the best for last. My sweet husband. People that just know the “surface level” Wes are really missing out. This guy has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know, he just doesn’t want everyone to know that ;) It’s a really amazing and hard thing to explain how you feel talking to your best friend and life partner about something like this. Everyone else was there for us and we loved that, but at the end of the day, we were the only two going through the exact same thing. This was our baby, not theirs, and this was our life that would be affected the most. Wes had the most positive attitude from the very beginning. I was literally bawling when I called him that day to tell him the news. When I left work, I drove straight to his work, he came outside and sat in my car and I just collapsed on him and cried even more. He stroked by back and assured me everything would be just fine. All I could tell him was “I’m sorry.” I am very aware that Down syndrome is a completely random occurrence and there is nothing either parent can do to cause it or prevent it, but I still felt like I was letting people down. I felt like I wasn’t giving him the child I was supposed to give him. Lucky for me, he didn’t let me believe that lie for long. He was right beside me through all of those next doctor’s appointments and asked questions right along with me. He was patient with me when I shared the same fears over and over. He kept me focused on the present when my mind wanted to race with thoughts of the future, which only bred more fear. He brought me lunch at school the next day and ate with me just because I was having a hard time and wanted to see him. He told me over and over how much he loved me and this baby. I know he had to be holding some really deep fears in his own heart, but he made sure my heart was okay first…
Wes and I cried out to God so often throughout this trial. It's kind of embarrassing that it takes a little bit of a “valley” to bring us to our knees sometimes. Jesus was the ultimate comforter and I can guarantee you neither of us would be in the place we are right now without His peace. Like I’ve said before, we take comfort in the fact that God knew Emmy was ours before either of us were even born! He knew the road we would walk and He goes before us. I don’t really like the phrase “God gives special children to extra special parents.” I know it is meant to be comforting, but I don’t consider us the slightest bit better or more adequate for this job than anyone else. We are simply living the life God planned for us, and this is what ours looks like. Maybe this is how we will fulfill our purpose in life. We don’t know. We sure didn’t think this is how it would go, but no matter how our lives happen, we know the One who is with us along the journey.
I’ll end by saying this: we have a lot to learn about our new normal. We are in no way experts. What we do know, is we want Emmy’s life to be as normal as possible. I love talking to people about her story. It is nothing I am ashamed of or embarrassed about, so if you have questions, please ask! We knew so little about Down syndrome when this all started and that is why there was so much fear in our hearts. Now there is so much joy and I know there will be even more when she gets here. If we can educate someone else, we’ll be one step closer to inclusion and a better life for our sweet girl. Some of you may be wondering why we were so scared/sad/anxious etc. after learning of this diagnosis. Honestly, it seems a bit silly and dramatic to us now as well. But that fear stems from how our story has gone. When we received the initial results, that was 100% what we knew about our baby. I had barely felt any movements. We didn’t even know it was a girl. 100% of our knowledge was that our baby had DS. That’s a really hard thing to accept. Now I know she is a girl, I can call her by name, I can feel her movements daily, I can tell she is stubborn just like her daddy :). I can’t wait to see her face and let the rest of these fears melt away. We are so excited for the world to know Emmy for her, not for her diagnosis.
-Morgan
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